


(i hope i never) forget you

by heybinnie



Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Second person POV, light...angst, or something
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2019-04-20 06:47:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14255274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heybinnie/pseuds/heybinnie
Summary: some days, love is hard to find, but it doesn’t necessarily mean it isn’t there.





	(i hope i never) forget you

_im at the beach and im all alone_  
_the sand fills the gaps in my toes_

* * *

when you wake up, you are surrounded by love.

love takes the form of five loud boys who know the words to every song you sing—whether you murmur it with your eyes, or hum it with your lips. they are older than you by one, two, three, four, six years, but the numbers don’t matter. they have never mattered.

what does is that they look past all your little faults, past your long, lanky limbs and shrilly laugh, and like to call you over with a holler or a whisper of your name.

“sanha,” they say. they always wait patiently for you to look at them. “hyung loves you. remember that.”

so remember it, you ~~try~~ will.

* * *

_when the wind blows, no one really knows_  
_forgot how it is so tell me how it goes_

* * *

when you wake up, you are surrounded by l ov e

it takes the form of your tiny mj-hyung poking his head into your room, waving around your favourite ice cream as if it’s a trophy. it’s loud in the way his laugh makes you smile and how he shouts your name with pride, but sometimes it’s gentle too, like brushing your hair back from your eyes and singing your favourite song when it’s quiet.

“sanha,” he says, abruptly stopping mid-chorus, just to say “hyung thinks you’re amazing.”

you smile. it’s a little wobbly, but a smile nonetheless.

* * *

_under the night sky_  
_feeling the breeze against my skin_  
_under the moonlight_

* * *

when you wake up, you are surrou ndde;d b

it takes the form of worrywart jinjin, who stays up with you when you can’t sleep, even if it means catching the first rays of the sun. it is gentle back rubs and soft, quiet humming and telling stories from before you both met, refusing to leave you in your own company late at night, even if most times, you insist that everything is fine.

still, he’d turn around to press a hand between your shoulder blades and tap a slow rhythm against your back.

“sanha,” he sighs, gently pulling your blanket to your shoulders. “hyung is here.”

you believe it. you believe him.

* * *

_i wish that you were here with me_  
_feeling the waves again_

* * *

when you wake up, you are]]. ? lov e

love takes the form of a groggy eunwoo gently nudging you awake from slumber, his voice deep and broken from sleep, like the morning sun peeking through your blinds. it’s in the way he scolds you like a mother and joins you on teasing the others like a brother, and how he softly calls your name as you sit at the table with shoulders hunched.

“sanha,” he says, pushing a cup of warm, lovely tea towards you. the cup stops inches away from your teardrop. “hyung will listen.”

you take a deep breath.

* * *

_pretend to be who we want to be_  
_all over again_

* * *

when you wake up, yo u ?:(::?/

it takes the form of big, scary binnie-hyung, who likes to push your buttons and scare you into the next life. bin’s love shows most often when you don’t see it: fond glances thrown your way, nonchalant _‘how are you feeling?’_ s, exasperated looks that remind you of home. he is running of fingers through your hair when your bones are heavy with fatigue and the soft coo of your name as you lean against his shoulder.

“sanha-ya,” he murmurs. he gives your hand a gentle squeeze. “hyung is proud of you.”

 _thank you,_ you want to say. _thank you._

* * *

_the city lights dont help how i feel_  
_im counting the days till i feel those waves again_

* * *

when you w k e up,;—

it shines in the way your best friend tells you that everything is alright. rocky gives you all he has and wants nothing in return, hoping for only your growth and health. his love shows in the way he listens as you cry, wipes your wet cheeks with his thumb and wraps a strong arm around your shoulders. it’s in the way he pulls you close with a sigh.

“sanha,” he says. he’s warm. “hyung won’t leave.”

you open your eyes and try to wake up this time.

* * *

_i crash in my bed and wish that i forget_  
_y;;/o.u?/]]p%_

* * *

when you wake up, you are surrounded by love.

sometimes, though, it’s hard to find it. some days you wreck the room, trash it until it doesn’t look like yours, and you sit in the middle of all the mess until your five lovely boys come crashing through the door.

they step over all the clutter to snatch your hand up in their own. you don’t know who is holding your hand, who is rubbing your back, who is humming and sighing and telling you they’re there; you’re too busy scrubbing at your eyes, shoulders trembling, breath hitching, and looking for all the world like you’d rather be anywhere but here.

here, though, doesn’t mean away from them. _here_ means _now_ , in this suffocating time and space with all its sense of dread and emptiness, with its naked walls and loud silence and hurtful words—

but it doesn’t include them, who are the only reason you still bother at all to get through the day and see to it that you live. it doesn’t include your five lovely boys who, with each passing day, make it easier to breathe.

and although they are just five boys who are loud and rowdy and full of laughter—and brimming with love, my god, they are _so full of love_ —you decide that even though this place is no better than a wasteland, maybe, just maybe, you should try hanging on for a while longer.

you look up at them through your stupid snot and tears and listen to the hitch in your own voice.

“i’m sorry,” you say, tired and soft, only to be shushed and fussed over.

and when your five lovely boys climb into bed with you to wrap you up in warm arms, littering kisses over your face and gently murmuring that all will be okay **(you will be okay)** , you listen to them instead of the sound of your insides falling apart, and close your eyes.

awake or asleep, you are surrounded by so much love that you can hear it just fine.

* * *

_(i hope i never)_  
_[forget you](https://open.spotify.com/track/1lPf8YxChHvtxZIV2rNAF4?si=GLiP8LS8SfKonCwhPIypEg) _

**Author's Note:**

> may life find you well, happy and in good health, and that you have (or will find) someone or something that makes you feel like it’s worth hanging around.
> 
> ps: you can find me on [tumblr!](%E2%80%9Cheybinnie.tumblr.com%E2%80%9D)


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